Tuesday, October 14, 2008

On to another cycle...

Well, my period started yesterday. Sorry I haven't blogged about it until now. Yesterday was a very, very hard day. I really had gotten my hopes up more this month than I have in previous months. I called the doctor and the latest they could get me in was Wednesday. That would mean I would have had to go home 4 days early (today). I talked to the nurse and she said that maybe it was a good idea to enjoy the vacation and try to de-stress a little bit and just skip treatment this month. So, my options were either to have no help TTC this month or go back home to Statesville very early. Of course, I would love to see my husband, but I also am enjoying being with my family. After many tears and much discussion with my husband yesterday, we decided that it would be good for us to sit a month out. Last month was really stressful, so maybe this is just what we need. SO, the plan is for us to meet at the Alabama game on Saturday and I will go back with him then. OH, on top of all that, this is my 2nd cycle with a combination of metformin, clomid & an hcg shot. The first cycle worked great, but this cycle did not work! The nurse told me that when I called yesterday. I just can't believe it! Why would it not work the 2nd time? Why did I get pregnant on my own 2 times and miscarry and now I can't even get pregnant again? This all just doesn't make any sense!!! So, the next time I do go in, she will be upping my dose of clomid again. I think that means that I will be taking 150mg now. We'll just have to see how it goes. But, for now, David and I will try to enjoy this month without trying to perfectly time everything and being told exactly when to "have fun" with each other. That will be a relief. I am praying that it will not be on our minds much this month. That's a hard feat, but I know the Lord can help make this happen. Thanks for listening! Today definitely was a better day, but I am still emotional. I suppose that is to be expected since it is "that time of the month". I hope you all are having a great day in the Lord!


Angela said...

Oh Erin!!!! I hate that I missed your call!! If you are still up, call me!

I know that this is hard, but I really think that you and David made the right decision for this month. Do not, do not, do NOT beat yourself up about being disappointed. Disappointment isn't sin. As much as I hate it, this disappointment is just one more cause for you to fall on your face before our Abba. You can give all of it to Him. I remember talking to you 6 months ago and hearing you say that you couldn't IMAGINE having to wait another 6 months. As hard as it has been, you have waited and you are SOOOOOOO much stronger than you were 6 months ago. You are being prepared by the Lord. He is growing you. Your maturity in the last year is astounding to me. I is inspiring and I know that He is holding you now also.

I don't know why this isn't happening either. I have asked myself and I am not given the answer either. I do know that He loves you so much and that He does want goodness for you!!!

Now get back to NC, so that I can hug you!!!!! I love you!!!

Erin Emigh Stanford said...

I've tried to call you several times. Just give me a call when you get time. I will be meeting David at the game tomorrow with my parents so tomorrow will be a busy day. I hope you guys are doing well!

Thanks for your kind words, I am doing better now. We'll talk on the phone later. ;)